Though a secularized version is now popular in productivity-hack and hustle culture, Stoicism originated as a holistic, pantheistic philosophy, a nondualist embrace of spirit inseparable from matter. While in some ways very modern, religious Stoicism is ready for revision based on new scientific knowledge on emotion, desire, the body, and Nature Herself. We'll discuss how the 3 branches of a Stoic education -- logic, physics, & ethics -- arose from Stoic theology, what relevance the traditional program of Stoic soul-healing has in modern witchcraft, and how we can hold these ancient disciplines alongside a witch's practice of personal sovereignty and magic-making.